The Role of Parents
As parents, how do we know how much help to give our children when they’re preparing for college? We want them to get the best education possible, but we also know they need to learn to stand on their own two feet.
It’s important to remember that the last year of high school can be an anxious time for both students and parents. As the world beckons with all the excitement and promise it has to offer, it’s also a time of great insecurity. Up until now, parents have made the major decisions for their children.
Soon they’ll need to make those decisions for themselves.
In terms of college it can be reassuring to have parents involved in the college selection. We might want to spend some time online researching different options, then present it to our children. We should be involved in the application process, but never do the application for them.
This is especially true of the college essay. It’s tempting to tell our children what to say. I’ve even heard of some parents who actually write the essay for their son or daughter. By all means resist this temptation! Our children need to learn responsibility and will only do this if we allow them the freedom to do so. Sometimes we might need to push them a bit.
By the time, our children are seniors in high school we’ve pretty much instilled whatever morals and values of our own. Now they will do with it what they will. They’ll make mistakes, but we grow more from our mistakes and failures than from our success. It can be hard to watch our kids stumble and fall, but they’ll become stronger adults if allowed to make their own way.
This is true for their majors as well. We want our children to be practical, but we also want them to love what they do. Maybe we want a doctor in the family, but pushing them in a direction they’re not interested in will ultimately not be of value.
State your opinions but don’t try to force them. Give them time to dream and space to grow into their own adulthood. Stand aside, but be there to offer a helping hand when they need it.